While organising any cremation service is stressful, an unattended cremation reduces the number of difficult decisions you need to make. All you have to do is arrange for a funeral director to pick up the deceased’s body and to have it cremated privately. You are then given the ashes if you want them.
People choose this kind of service for various reasons. For example, you may organise an unattended cremation because the person who died specifically asked you not to have a funeral service.
In some cases, you may have to take this option because people who want to attend the cremation service can’t make the date. They may live overseas or be unable to travel in time due to illness or other commitments.
Also, if you have lost an older relative or friend, then they may be the last of their generation of friends and family. You may simply think that a dignified private cremation will be more fitting.
However easy organising an unattended cremation is, you may be upset because you can’t attend a funeral or memorial service before the cremation. The service is the traditional way to pay your respects and to say farewell to people you love. Losing this opportunity can make it harder to progress through the stages of grief.
To get closure, consider having some form of memorial service or event after the cremation. What is the best way to celebrate the life of your loved one?
Plan a Group Memorial Event
Think about why your loved one is having an unattended service. This helps you pick a memorial event that the deceased would approve of and appreciate. For example, if the person simply didn’t like funerals because they personally found them gloomy, then throw a party later to give them a cheerful send-off.
If you lost an older relative with few friends and your family can’t get to the service in time, then organise a date a few weeks or months down the line when everyone can get together. You can then arrange a formal or informal memorial service on this date.
For example, you could arrange a formal church service with a minister or celebrant. Or you could hire a hall to run your own memorial tribute for friends and family.
If you prefer something more informal, then everyone could go out for a meal. Or you could have an open-house day in your home so people can pop in when they are free. You can all reminisce and celebrate the life of your loved one. You can also tie a post-cremation memorial tribute in with an ashes scattering or internment ceremony.
Hold a Private Memorial Event
If you are the only person in mourning, then you should still set time aside to remember your relative or friend. To help you grieve, set a date when you will say a private farewell.
This farewell could be as simple as buying some flowers on your relative’s or friend’s next birthday and putting them on display next to their photo.
Alternatively, you can say your goodbyes when you scatter their ashes or inter them in the crematorium gardens. Another possibility is to take a trip somewhere the person loved to go. Visiting their favourite beach, garden, or attraction is a good way to feel close and connected to someone you loved.
If you aren’t sure what kind of memorial event to organise, contact our compassionate staff at Cremations Only. We can help you find the perfect way to say goodbye after an unattended cremation and can help you organise the event if you wish.